This Day

Today was a day. It was a fairly long day. It was a draining day. It was a good day. I am emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually spent. I had illusions of grandeur concerning my daily post but as this day progressed I was less and less optimistic.

My day began at 3:30am when a bout of insomnia kicked in. I attempted to cure my sleeplessness with some warm milk and honey. This did little to lull me into any state of rest. I then decided to read in an attempt to focus my thoughts on something other than my anxiety. I picked up a book that I received from a friend as a gift in my earlier years "in the faith" (Christianity). It happened to be the closest book to my bedside. Unfortunately, however I found that this was a terrible idea. Instead of distracting me it increased my worries. The ambiguity that was left concerning our actions in relation to God's wrath appealed to the irrational side of my spirituality. I have been taught in my religious experience overtly and covertly to be in a constant fear concerning my actions in relation to "God's will." I have managed to remove myself from this unhealthy thought pattern in recent years but the author and my overly analytical brain joined forces with my insomnia to keep me awake for about an hour more.

Two hours later, I am dragging myself out of bed, with some coaxing from my roommate to go to the gym. I am still uneasy from my reading. I am crabby because I am sleep deprived. I am NOT a morning person so my roommate and I have learned to remain silent in the car on the drive to the YMCA. 2.5 hours later we were exhausted but we returned home to cook a fantastic breakfast of jalapeno, spinach, and mozzarella eggs, with toast and yogurt on the side. Mmmmmm.

After a quick shower I spent another 2.5 hours of my day filling out legal paperwork I am just now receiving from my lawyer for a lawsuit I began over a year ago. In that time I completed 5 of 29 questions in the first section of paperwork. Why can't they make it a little less convoluted? I guess it is so they can continue to charge an exorbitant amount to hire a lawyer.

When I could no longer stand to suffer through documents I called my boyfriend. (*Sigh here) It was like taking in a breath of fresh air. We discussed everything that had occurred since 3:30. Actually, I just talked, a lot. He listened. When I was finished this angel of a man reached inside the turbulent sea of my soul and attached an anchor to my emotions. I felt peace. Until I remembered I had to go to work but I still felt significantly better than I had earlier in the day.

Work was work. With my new perspective however, I was quite elated regardless of my circumstance. On top of my great mood I had great tables. What I mean by "having great tables" for those of you who are not, will not, or have not been in the service industry is that all of the guests that I waited on were awesome! My last table of guests that I served this evening even engaged me in a discussion about sociology, religion, philosophy, economics, and a bit of psychology. It was quite a treat! They also tipped really well.

Life surprised me today. Through trials, discomfort, and hard work I was really blessed by the people around me. In a world where there are so many reasons to distrust people, to fear, and to lose faith particularly in humanity, sometimes I have days like today that proves the cynic in me wrong. Good night to you all.